Friday, June 24, 2011

Even A “Bad” Mom Can Raise Good Men By Susie Klein

I recently read a post here by Anonymous titled, forget success, i just want to survive And I saw myself in every line she wrote. I recognized her frustration and her temptation to believe that she was not the mom that her child needed. She is concerned that her mommy skills may be less than what her kid requires.

One of the reasons that our great friend, Sophie, began this blog “for moms and by moms” was to show us that we are not alone. You are not alone in feeling like you do not measure up in the Mommy-Wars. For some crazy reason we all feel as if every other woman around us is doing it right and we are doing it wrong and our child is going to turn out to be some kind of monster or gutter-dweller.

I am going to stick my neck out here a bit and presume to speak from a place of knowledge and experience in this area of mothering. To validate my ability to identify with you, here are a couple of excerpts from my journals...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

G.D. it, I Forgot The Tortillas By Sophie Patten

I try saying things like “Holy Mackerel” and “Good Gravy!” in front of my kids, but I’m afraid the odd s-bomb has escaped my lips without very much apology.  To be honest the Disney swearing just tickles me pink and even when I’m around regularly sized humans I enjoy throwing out a “Oh, Holy Nights!” or a “Good Night Nurse!” every now and again.

Going to the store with three children under 5 is not easy. The afternoons make it worse because they have all just woken up from their all too brief naps, and aren’t energized by breakfast or 10+ hours sleep like they would be if I took them in the morning. 

I bundle them in the car, check for shoes, sweaters, pacy and toys for the baby…  I grab snack and drinks, jump in the car and pass out the snack only for my oldest to whine “I don’t want THAT snack mommy!” and my toddler to scream her agreement that I am apparently rubbish for selecting THAT snack. 

ADMISSION: Half the time when this happens I say “Rough, it’s THIS or nothing”, aaand the other half I heave a giant frustrated sigh and stomp back in the house to get a couple of different items that I know will soothe the little beasts and guarantee a smoother outing.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Moms, Dads & Stress by Becky Blankenship

Moms and Dads carry a lot of stuff with them, things that crowd the mind and undermine patience. You know, the usual day- to- day concerns like getting the kids off to school, making it to work on time, dinner, laundry, bathrooms. But why is it on some days there is something that compromises our ability to handle things?         
 Some days it may be the stain on the carpet that pushes the button or a hairstyle that won’t “style” that finally makes us snap. Of course it’s not those things alone, it’s the culmination of all things together.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Better Judgment by Anonymous

Sometimes, I see parents rushing out of the store with their kicking and screaming child, snapping something harsh at them, and then, we make eye contact and the caught-red-handed look comes over their face.

At first, i think, "I will never do that with MY child." and then, I re-evaluate the situation: How many times have I dropped my head into my knees in frustration and starting sobbing? How many times have I had to leave her in her crib and walk away for a few minutes? How many times has some horrible thought crossed my mind and then I immediately "took it back"?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

10 Things Never To Say To A Stay At Home Mom

1. When the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job?
2. How June Cleaver of you!
3. Oh, so you don't work?
4. Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow?
5. All day with your kids? I can't even imagine.
6. I'm jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn't have to work either.
7. What do you do all day, anyway?
8. I'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree.
9. That explains why your son is so clingy!
10. Weird. I assumed your house would be super clean.

Read the original entry by clicking here.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Hearing Without Listening by Sophie Patten

It has taken me a long time to realize that the surfaces in my home will just be perpetually sticky for the next few years.  I can clean them everyday and they will still end up being sticky. My carpet is stained. I describe it as being "thrashed".  I could steam my carpet once a month and it would still look awful most of the time. And quite frankly who in the world has time to steam clean their carpets once a month? I am a spot cleaner. I can make time for that when the kids (and by that I mean Annie) spills her dinner. 

The living room gets my full attention because that is where our friends hang out with us, and I don’t want to be judged.  Wait a minute isn’t that what this blog is all about?  I have wonderful friends, looking at them and knowing them I can’t believe they would judge me.  But I still want to represent my best self as often as I can... in public.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Single Mom in 1983 By Julie Ann Wells

My unemployment was running out and I had to get back to work.  I was so fortunate as to have my Dad’s place and my (almost) sister-in-laws home to live in.  Now, I needed someone to take care of my girl. 

The first place I tried was a licensed day care owned by an old crusty retired couple.  I didn’t feel food about leaving the baby there but felt they had the best credentials.  With in the first week my baby got a black eye from another child throwing a toy.  This was clearly accidental but I had to go with my gut feeling and find a different provider. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Welcome Home By Becky Blankenship

May continues to be a killer.  My calendar just won’t stop. I forgot an event that was important and I have to choose which event to attend on Tuesday, a nephew’s graduation or my son’s end of the year scout celebration. They’re getting a patch too. Of course, on that day my husband has a board meeting and won’t be able to help with anything!  Ugh.
 I had to turn down several other things to make my life work --all of which I would have enjoyed.
Tonight we are having cake and ice cream for my daughter, who turned 16 on Thursday. We’ve been having her birthday in increments. Her dinner was on Friday. Mayfest, cake, ice cream and tie-dye with her friends today and a short trip to Kansas City in June.
In the midst of all our busy-ness…my 24-year-old son (whom we’ve not seen for two years!) made a surprise visit!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

forget success, i just want to survive... by anonymous

i've started to write about my children three different times (this week), about three different topics.

this is the sad one.

this week my son missed what, in my mind, was supposed to be a major event in his life - thus far. when we left the house he was showing signs that he was not going to make it through the event peaceably, but i was not prepared for the way that the evening unfolded and i was (even) less prepared for my reaction. he cried getting out of the car when we arrived and he cried when i walked him to his class and he cried when i told him there would be cookies waiting for him at the end of the night. i sat with him until he calmed and i thought the worst was over.

then we lined up. he turned. ran. couldn't do it. couldn't stand and smile for 10 little tiny easy minutes.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Article by Sophie Patten

"Having three daughters is no joke. My life is a cautionary tale of ‘be careful what you wish for’. *Insert typical disclaimer about how I love my kids here*"
My latest Facebook status
I don’t mean that I wished for children and now I realize I’m over my head. No, no. I’m not over my head as such. I wished for children and they are the biggest blessing in my life, no doubt.
What I mean is that having girls is already incredibly challenging for me as a women. These little ladies are a mirror for me; a way to see myself with all my flaws and inadequacy. But that’s not all. They are also a way to see myself and all the love that I have to give them and how my sense of right and wrong and my strength of character, will shape and affect them in their lives.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Not Every Day Is Snuggly, By Susie Klein

I am so happy that Sophie is starting this great blog for Moms who want to be real with one another. There are plenty of mommy blogs that are filled with “We snuggled all day today!” posts that make the rest of the mommies feel less than the best! Time to get real about your days.
As a reminder that you are not alone why not read a direct excerpt from my personal journal when my son was 11 months old…….
“My journal entries have slacked off and I know why: The books and magazines told me how wonderful and peachy mothering is. The impression was that only cold, uncaring mothers complained and wished they had careers instead of kids.